Let me clarify the title a bit before we get started. This post is for those of you who have trouble finding someone to get into a relationship with. I’m talking about you if you either NEVER go on dates, or, if you go on dates but just can’t seem to get a second or third date. Maybe you have heard these, or maybe you haven’t. Either way, you shouldn’t ignore them if you are hoping to find love.
Rule #1 : Have an Open Mind
If you are on a dating site and come across these two people, who would you rather message?
Person A) “I’m looking for someone who is Funny, is successful, and ready to be my wing-person on all my travel adventures.”
Person B) “I’m looking for someone who is funny, is successful, and ready to be my wing-person on all my travel adventures. I hope to find someone who is a good dancer, a good cook, and loves to go for runs and bike rides. Must have brown hair and blue eyes, and an athletic body type.”
Person “A” right? If you go into the dating scene with an open mind and willingness to meet different types of people, you’ll have a greater chance at meeting your next long-term relationship. Perhaps the reason you have trouble dating is because you are looking for one type of person, when you are really meant for someone else.
Rule #2 : Be The Type of Person You Are Looking For
Ok so now that you have an open mind, lets look at YOU. I’m going to use deserts as an example this time. Lets say you are looking for crème brule. Rich, delightful, perfection. However, you are better categorized as jello. You are fun and quirky, and a delightful desert, but generally wouldn’t stand a chance of being put at the same table next to crème brule. You either need to adjust your expectations, and be willing to date someone less than crème brule (like box cake or a ‘fellow-jello’) , or work on raising yourself up to be more like crème brule.
Don’t believe me? Try turning the table. Imagine you are smart, driven, and adventurous. Would YOU date someone who still lives at home, doesn’t have a good job, and likes to stay inside all day? The answer is probably no.
Rule #3 : Make Time & Break From Your Routines
People make time for things that are important to them. Going to school, your job, hobbies, etc. So if finding a relationship is important to you, then you have to treat it as such. Try online dating (and spend a lot of time using the sites), go to singles events, go on blind dates. If all you do is work, go home, and occasionally go out with friends, your chances of meeting the right person is slim to none. The more people you can have contact with, the better. You cant expect Prince/ess Charming to just show up on your doorstep (unless they turn out to work for UPS, but that’s a stretch).
Is there something you’ve always wanted to try or learn? DO IT! Who knows, you might meet someone at that SCUBA class or be matched up with them in dance class.
Rule #4 : Work on your appearance
I know that not everyone finds looks important, but most do. If you go on two dates, one with someone who has good style, smells good, and stays in decent shape, and another who basically looks like Shrek and smells like a wet hound, who are you going to choose? That’s what I thought. So don’t let yourself go, and just remember that EVERY TIME you leave the house is a new opportunity to meet someone!
Rule #5 : Be Interesting
This one should just happen if you follow Rule #3. Have you ever been on a date with someone who does nothing but work and play video games? or someone who just talked about their cats? If you have, you know that it is DULL and you’ll leave the date feeling like you just wasted part of your life. You do NOT want to be dull, because that does not lead to further dates. So ask your date questions (your there to get to know them right?) and talk about all your single-person adventures.
**A note for you introverts: DONT BE A CLAM! By that I mean, don’t make your date have to pry information out of you! I’ve had dates where the guy seemed normal over text, but in person he was like Raj on The Big Bang Theory. AWKWARD. Not many people willing to date Raj.
You may have noticed all of these are ways that YOU can change to up your chances of finding someone. The reason for that is, theres nothing else you can do. You can’t change other people, and you can’t force love. So, the most you CAN do is make yourself free and desireable to date. You never know when your going to meet ‘The One’, so just be patient, and DON’T GIVE UP!
Is there anything I missed? Let me know by commenting!